Deathbed Confessions are Lame

Someone I used to know only sends me "forwards" with never a personal message, but only these cheesy, emotionally manipulative emails that are supposed to make me believe that if I just stop what I'm doing and recite a few lines on the email...I, too, can be saved. Which is ironic considering we were both baptized in the same church. I wonder what makes him think I'm going to hell again all of a sudden? Anyway, he sends me this hideously graphic collage of photos from the 9/11 attacks where God is supposedly talking to each person, trying to get the frightened, the choking, the burning, the dying people to "come to Jesus" just before they die. I think this is a terrible thing to tell people. If you lived with a man your whole life and treated him like crap and never got him anything for his birthday or even noticed he was around and just stepped over him on your way to and from work, but you proclaimed your undying love for him on your deathbed...one would have to either question your motives or your sanity, at the very least, your veracity. I would think this poor man who's shared your life for decades would know you as the pretender you are and just reach over you, gently, as though to give you a final kiss, but instead pull the plug out of the wall so that you flatline alone and miserable...I think that's fair, don't you???

Deathbed confessions are lame, people. Tell the people in your life how you feel about them now while it still matters, while it doesn't cost you anything, while it still makes sense that they'd believe you. Don't be a deathbed chump.